76 more days.. Less then 2 1/2 months.. That is how much time I have left. As each day passes I can feel it coming closer. No, I am not suffering from a deathly disease. I am turning 30.
I know in my mind, this is not a bad thing, definitely better than the alternative. I am not sure what I am expecting to happen. Perhaps the morning of my birthday I will wake up with gray hair, wrinkles, and shriveled up ovaries.
I am happy in my life I have a great boyfriend, 2 dogs, a house, a car, and a job to support it all,well the boyfriend supports himself (also a plus). What could I possibly be worried about turning 30? Everything! Nothing! I don't know!! Oh God I think I am going to puke now.. Morning sickness?? No, my head is just spinning..
Yes, part of my problem is that I am almost 30, no husband no child. A few years ago I was proud of that. Now when people ask my marital/baby status, I zone out and picture my house full of cats. I try and convince myself that my current status is much better than, A. Being divorced with kids, B. Having no-one and nothing. How can I know that, but yet still feel like the world is coming to an end?
Worse than convincing myself is convincing others. My friends, family and coworkers, think that if I don't have a ring on my finger by my birthday I will jump off a tall building. My mother has a friend who owns a baby store(no they don't sell babies, only baby stuff). I think she started putting things on layaway several years ago. My mom continually tells me that she knows I will do all the married stuff when I am ready and she is not worried about it. Yeah Right.. She has begun to call my puppies, her grand babies. Worse, I call them my babies..
A few months ago I decided I wanted to do roller derby, unfortunately that didn't pan out. The same week I decided I wanted to knock out girls while rollerskating in a circle, I got my belly button pierced. OH NO, signs of a midlife crisis?? Thank god I am a female, or I would have joined hair club for men and bought a convertible.. This weekend I noticed an abundance of cellulite in my thighs. I am not fat, not even chubby, I look HOT in clothes, just don't take me out of them.. My boyfriends best friend dates a 19 year old. Skinny, blond, young, ( I have bigger boobs..) I have her beat in the cute department and the brain department but I refuse to let her look better then me in a bikini.. I ran (drove) to the store to buy an elliptical machine. What a change from the weekend before when I was ticked off that a store clerk asked me for my I.D. to purchase a lottery ticket. You only have to be 18 to buy one.
Its all good, 30 is just a number right?? Does anyone have any Valium?